Eating chocolate might not solve all my problems, but it certainly wont hurt.
It’s not important whether you win or lose… Unless its a gun fight. Then it’s pretty damn important.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. A day without sunshine is like night. Let children be children If you want to tell what kind of person one is, check their closet. If they have Disney or Looney Tunes ties, watches, or other [...]
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I never got to see a dinosaur… I really don’t give a damn if my kids don’t get to see a polar bear.
I’m not at all afraid of Zombies. They are way too slow. Nothing really happens to you if you tear those “do not remove” tags from pillows and mattresses. If you are waiting on someone else to solve your problems, its going to be a really long wait. You can never hug your kids [...]
Don’t go grocery shopping hungry, last night I inexplicably bought 4 boxes of pop tarts… I don’t eat pop tarts. Do not make your kids grow up too early. They grow up plenty fast left to their own devices Children and grandparents are an amazing thing to watch, they are very often allied against the [...]
Why is it that every time a police car is behind me I get paranoid? I don’t speed, don’t do anything to make me fear the law, but something about it is unnerving. There is little in life better than warm fresh chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk. You are never going to [...]
Do you think Patrick Swayze spends these days going up behind people in pottery class and freaking them out. I would if I was him.